There being no one else around, I went to answer the doorbell. The back-door neighbour came around to warn us of a snake that was seen slithering into my compound. Freaky shit I tell you. She even went on to describe it as being as thick as her wrist. I deduced that it must have been some sort of ular sawa or something pythonish. It sent chills down my spine.

Imagine something like that somewhere in your garden.

I woke up the slumbering sister and together we locked up all access ports to our house. Wielding wooden bamboo canes, we brought in the washing and hid within.

It was then, the huge beast burst into the living room and we had a battle of epic proportions. Beowulf and Grendel could not compare with the ferocity of the battle that ensued. After twelve days and three hours, I managed to slay the stupid thing by stabbing it’s eyes out with my chin-hairs of iron.

Rupa-rupanya,… hanya suatu mimpi yang ngeri…

The snake is still probably somewhere out there in the garden still, waiting. Maybe it’ll devour a neighbourhood dog or perhaps a maid might go missing and her employers would think she ran away. Whatever the case, we shall sprinkle sulfur all over the compound to keep the slithering anacondas away. Snakes are supposed to steer clear of sulfur, or so we hope.

My advice is to make sure you always have a younger sibling or a small-medium sized pet at hand. It takes time for a python to devour either and in that time, you would probably have managed to run to safety and get help.

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